We’ll never love like this again.
When this is over, we won’t be the same.
Because we might be writing new names into blank spaces but none of us are blank slates anymore. Relationships no longer start at square one. When you meet someone for the first time you’re meeting their every heartbreak, every lie, every broken promise. You’re left carrying all the baggage they should have left behind but stubbornly held onto till it molded them into this beautiful mess. You’re not just falling for the boy his mother raised him to be, but the collective wisdom of ten ex girlfriends and all the things they wanted him to change but he didn’t. You’ll discover the same flaws that made the last one leave and you’ll think the same thing she did- , “I’m different“. That was your chance to walk away. You should have known better.
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When our memories are this beautiful, we joyfully keep going down the lane.
On the Upcoming Anniversary of My Mother’s Death
January 30 will be the 28th anniversary of your passing. It seems like so many more years have gone by, so much of life has occurred and disappeared.
The memories are so vivid of the few weeks before and the several weeks after. The terminal diagnosis, the fog in the hospital corridor, the roaring lion that came out of my voice insisting to relatives and doctors that we bring you home instead of shutting you away in a convalescent hospital.
A compassionate hospice nurse, the tearful and honest talks we had in the few days that remained, your last breath, the doctor who surreptitiously slipped your wedding ring into my hand just before the coroner arrived with his black bag, my horror of watching them take you away, my brother arriving just in time to kiss you good-bye.
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RAPE, THE IDEAL PUNISHMENT FOR HAVING A LOVE AFFAIR.
This is justice folks, West Bengal style.
A 20-year-old woman is lying in critical condition in hospital in the Indian state of West Bengal after she was allegedly gang-raped by at least a dozen men on the orders of a “salishi sabha” — a traditional village tribunal — in the state’s Birbhum district.
The villagers convened the makeshift tribunal after spotting the young woman with a lover. They tied them to a tree and fined the couple 50,000 rupees (around $800). The headman of the tribunal allegedly ordered the rape when the woman’s family refused or were unable to pay the fine. He has now been arrested along with the 12 other men.
Four years ago, a teenage girl in the same area was forced by villagers to walk naked through four villages for having an affair.
Ruling party Trinamool Congress’s member of parliament, Derek O’ Brien called the incident a “social malaise” that needs to change.
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I could not agree more…food for thought 🙂
5 Simple Things We Forget as We Grow Older…
Hug and show affection to the people that matter most.
You’re never too old to remind your loved ones that you love them. You’re never to old to show you care. A hug can go a long way. Ask your grandparents how their week has been, ask your mother for a baking recipe, tell your old pops you love him.
Although this may not be possible to do once a day, try at least once a week. Set aside your electronics and turn the TV off. Sit around a table and indulge in some real-talk conversations. You’ll learn a lot.
Check in with your parents, your grandparents.
Just because we grow older and have our own families to look after, doesn’t mean we should forget about where we came from. If your parents understand how to text, a…
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Tolerance is love, and is the cornerstone of any wholesome belief system. You cannot profess love without tolerance. Abominations, is how a great number of Nigerians refer to Gay/Lesbians and Transgender citizens of the country. A day ago, Goodluck Jonathan, our President, signed a bill criminalizing homosexuality in the country, and most people are reveling in ecstasy about this.
Nigeria is one of the most corrupt and lawless countries in our universe. Her leaders are crude and morally bankrupt, and frankly, the only redeeming quality of this beautiful country is her people: a passionate and determined people, who are driven and deeply seated in religion and worship. Nigeria, somehow, has lost its faith, replacing it with dogma and misworship.
Under the guise of fighting God’s cause, but is God disabled or invalid, that he requires enforcers to champion his cause? Saul did same before he became the Apostle Paul for Christ. As a result, he lived with hernia for the rest of his days. Human beings are being dehumanized, victimized and sometimes killed—for their sexual orientation. Where in the Scriptures are Christians called to arms, to wage war against enemies of God? Love those who despitefully use you…Pray for your enemies and if they hunger feed them…naked? Clothed them, but if Lesbian or Gay, hang them out to dry? Crucify them? If civilization began in Africa, why should homosexuality be foreign to the African culture?
Rumors are being spread to the effect that homosexuals are out and about recruiting ‘members’ and soon, the country will be overrun by them. I did not realize being gay required subscription, and is therefore optional. This all sounds far right republican, and it saddens me it comes straight out of my motherland. All from a country where it’s LEGAL for a forty-nine year old pervert to marry a nine-year-old girl, and rape her, all in the name of consummating the sham of a marriage.
Based on Islamic laws, Nigeria recently passed a law, making twelve the legal age for marriage, for a girl; yet, Nigeria is not an Islamic state. This is the madness of the depraved old men ruling the country. How can any sane person take such leaders seriously? How can anyone begin to reason with such mind sets?
Now that this law has been passed, rest assured the ignorant among us—already taking pleasure and pride, in humiliating and ostracizing homosexuals—will go on a killing spree. Remember this is a country where a human life is worthless. A man is easily killed for stealing candy worth a dollar or a woman stripped naked publicly and sexually assaulted in plain sight, for stealing pepper, take your pick.
As hopeless as the situation appears, I still hold out on hope/faith. My hope is in the future, our children; and one of them Sibbly Whyte, a future leader of my people, has a fair and rational grip on the situation thank heavens. Here is Sibbyl’s take:
January 14th, 2014
Gay; once upon a time, it meant being happy.
I’d like to believe that if Jesus lived in Nigeria in the 21st century, he would have been tolerant of gay people. And before anyone quotes Old testament for me, remember the Prostitute in the New?
Yea, she was considered an ‘abominable’ being, worthy of being stoned to death. Did Jesus Christ let them? Did he tell them to lock her up in some dungeon? No! He asked them to carry on with their senseless punishment, if they were blameless, if they hadn’t committed one sin or the other.
ALL Sins are equal.
So, if you think that gay people offend God more than rapists, adulterers, fornicators, thieves, murderers, abortionists, etc. My friend, you are sitting on a long thing.
If you believe that Homosexuality is a crime worth 14 years of lost years, then you’ve failed the second greatest commandment which is to ‘Love thy neighbour as thine self’. You would not wish to be locked up for being different.
Sanctimoniousness would not get you anywhere near the streets of heaven.
Personally, I’d take the homosexuals over the rapists that fuck right and destroy lives. We do not heavily enforce the laws concerning Rape and yet, people applaud this move of locking consenting individuals of same sex. Sigh. I won’t even talk about how this could easily be a means of wasting innocent lives. Sigh, Sigh.
For the leaders that put this on the table and saw it through, I wish Nigerians could see right up their asses and that of their kids. I would be damned if half of them haven’t swum in the pools of homosexuality. Sadly, they have given us this bone, and like rabid dogs, most chew on.
At least, the Goodluck government would be remembered for making sure that Nigerian-born dicks went into the designated holes. Yaaay!
While they are at it, I hope they pass a bill that would stop anal sex. It’s the same thing with gay-men sex if you ask me.
This is what we get when a nation is peopled by individuals that let religious, cultural and personal sentiments take precedence over the provision of a better life for the average Nigerian. Would ridding the nation of gay people put food on the table? Would it provide jobs for graduates, pave our roads and make us any more developed? Would it make everything that is wrong with Nigeria right?
I thought as much.
PS. Dear friends, click here to comment and interact with Dotta Raphels
Sometimes words are not needed, sometimes all we need is a touch.
And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. (Matthew 8:2-3)
As a single woman in her 60s, I live a fairly isolated life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a full life; I write, I study, I have friends, I go to church. Yet, there’s something in my life I don’t have that others do and may take for granted.
If you live with someone, or you are dating, you have the opportunity to be tangibly touched on a daily basis. Those of us who are single, who rent a room or live alone can be touch deprived.
According to Psychologist Matthew Hertenstein, PhD, director of the Touch and Emotion Lab at DePauw University, touch…
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Faith is accepted with your eyes close. I do this now as I step forward and place my trust in his hands. OM
I just had to share this one, so calming.
She tackles the both big and little issues, then throws in some humour every now and then. Seriously, you have got to be brave to talk vaginal bleaching with a straight face. Viki IMO epitomizes the quintessential writer.