It’s no secret that I’m an addict, everyone in my life knows and they are required to treat me with kid gloves when it comes to my addiction. I have not always been this way mind you, life and it’s temptations finally got to me.

I have never been one to shy away from anything, so initially in the early days when my addiction began, I tried it all. They say variety is the spice of life right? well I held on to that philosophy and ran with it.

My addiction lately has began to bother my family and friends and frankly, I don’t understated what the  fuss is all about. They have planned the “I” thing, shhhh…yep that’s right…intervention! Bloody hell, what ever happened to respect and privacy? Here I am, thinking that I have people who care around me, only to discover I’m surrounded by freaking Benedict Arnolds (traitors)!

The gloves are off! It’s  full battle zone now people, I will fight for my right to put in my body what I want. No one has the right to restrict my intake of anything regardless of their good freaking intentions.

So today I’m supposed to show them that I love them all, prove that I love my kids, husband and whole family. I’m supposed to choose which is more important…My addiction or them?

Is it me or are these people selfish or what? Where is the freaking love, loyalty and respect? They all have one vice or they other, I have neither judged or made ultimatums. If I can respect that in their lives, why the heck can’t they do same for me?

I feel so let down by everyone, alone and betrayed in my own home. This will be a good time to get my fix, but they feel if I don’t fight this thing now, I may one day loose control and begin to steal.

They have taken turns watching me, since last week. I feel ashamed to admit that I actually went through my neighbors purse the other day, I had to get my fix. Don’t judge me! It’s not easy being watched like a criminal. I was dying , withdrawals and all…I had to do something about it. It did feel like I was dying!

Desperate times calls for desperate measures…I had to pull out my clever cards, so I pretended to nap. When my 17 year old son zoned in on Call of Duty, I sneaked out of my bedroom window.

In stealth mode I tiptoed into the Taylor’s and luck was truly on my side that afternoon, the whole family was in the backyard so I had good time to grab something from Genny’s purse.

As I opened her Louis, panic set in, there was nothing there. As I tried to open the second compartment, Louis fell, spilling its contents. The noise rattled me and of course I let out a scream and this alerted the people in the backyard and within seconds, my whole world came crashing down!

There I was on all fours, desperately gathering the contents of the Louis together and the entire family members of the Taylor household and mine, circled around me, arms crossed, a mixture of shame, anger and disbelief written on their face.

“What the fuck mom…you almost made it! All this for a fucking candy bar?”

Advertisements